You are currently browsing the monthly archive for September 2006.
Have you ever reached a rainbow's endAnd did you find your pot of goldEver catch a shooting starAnd tell me how high did you soarEver felt like you were dreamingJust to find that you're awakeAnd the magic that surrounds youCan lift you up and guide you on your way
I can see it in the stars across the skyDreamt a hundred thousand dreams beforeNow I finally realizeYou see I've waited all my life for this moment to arriveAnd finally yeah
When you look out in the distanceYou see it never was that farOhhh NoHeaven knows your existanceAnd lead you to be everything you are
OhhhThere's a time for every soul to flyIt's in the eyes of every childIt's the hope, the love that saves the worldAnd ohhh we should never let it go
I believe in the impossibleIf I reach deep within my heartOvercome any obstacleWon't let this dream fall apartSee I strive to be the very bestShine my light for all to seeCause anything is possibleWhen you believe yeah
Ohh YeahLove keeps liftin me higherLiftin me higherLove keeps liftin me higherI said love keeps liftenLove keeps liften meI said Love keeps liftenLove keeps liften me higherSaid love keeps liften me higherI said love keeps liften me high
i dun wanna feel this way!!
God.. help me….
i stand on higher ground
i was lost but now i’m here with You
my refuge
my stronghold always with You
faithful one
holding on
i am always with You…
love isnt just simply love because beneath this word love spells a million things.
love is forgiveness.
love is enduring.
love is kind.
love is patient.
love is acceptance.
love is sacrificing.
love is compromising.
love is giving.
love is caring.
love is a choice.
love covers a multitude of sins.
and the list juz goes on and on forever. isnt it then, such a tall order to love? no wonder we find it so difficult to love at times. either becoz we find it hard to forgive, hard to endure, hard to sacrifice and so on. and it’s no wonder the greatest love of all is the love of God… the agape love… that unconditional love that every human soul longs for.
and i guess, like wat someone had said, when u really choose to love someone, you dont see sacrifices as a compromise or even as inevitable in a relationship. Instead, you relish and appreciate the fact that all the joy is found in giving and sacrificing. and when u realise how much ur loved ones had to go thru, ur heart aches knowing how much pain they had to endure…
so love isnt really as simple as we think it is isnt it? it is not juz falling in and out of love and having to endure all the heartbreaks over and over again. it is not abt being in love with the idea of being in love. but it really is abt finding that one person whom u can really link spirit to spirit… that someone who is worth spending ur whole life with…
[edit] pple hurt us unknowingly. that’s a fact. accept it man pamela foong.
prelims are over and i’m definitely enjoying myself so so so much!! haha. but i think it will be time to hit the books and notes tmr! i need lots of time to get my studying engine warmed up again! so if any of u think i’m a freak or watsoever, go ahead. coz this time it’s A’s ur talking abt… and there isnt much time to waste. (: i wanna shine for God! i really do! (:
wed was spent looking for my prom dress and doing lots of window shopping! haha. it was fun! and i think i found the dress that i want! yayy!! (:
thurs was bbq day!! WHEEE!! it was definitely fun! and i baked brownies too! i think it’s quite nice! haha. anyway… talking abt the bbq, it was definitely a great day! everything went on so smoothly and it was so fun! everyone enjoyed themselves and i felt so HIGH that i couldnt sleep! (: and and and… God smiled during the bbq!! God really did smile!! i felt that same smile again! yanling oso said that there was one pt of time during the bbq when she felt very very happy! it muz be the joy of Lord!! (:
friday was a rather meaningful day! i woke up very early and headed down to the autistic (think that’s how u spell it?? hmmm) childcare centre at queenstown tgt with jenn. that’s where huiru works. the childcare centre needed volunteers to help out with the children’s day celebration! and well… thank God i went! i really enjoyed myself and i definitely learnt much! i took care of this boy called wen xun and he’s a higher functioning kid! he understood most of the things i said and it was really fun being with him! except for the fact that he liked to dig his nose!! but it’s ok! i still love him! haha. i took lots of pictures of the kids too! here they are!
this is the play room where all the children juz go crazy playing and jumping! haha. it’s really funny to see them screaming and playing! they practically go mad in there! haha. that’s desmond in the picture! dunno who’s that boy with his head buried in the pool of balls tho. haha.
oh oh.. see that small little cute guy on top?! that’s jaedon!! he’s pretty boy! huiru’s kid! he’s super smart for an autistic child! but he is very rigid… and camera shy! so i had to take him from afar. haha.
yayy!! that’s wen xun!! the small guy i took care of!! (((((((:
that’s a closer picture of jaedon! he refuses to look at the camera! haha
erm.. who’s that? haha. cant really fig out tho… hmmmm..
oh oh!! that’s my KOALA BEAR!! haha. he is huiru’s kid too! and jenn took care of him! his name is zhi hui i think. and he juz likes to laze ard… lie ard and have fun! haha. he’s my KOALA BEAR!! he’s really really super cute! haha.
yayy!! that’s wen xun!!! i like this pic! coz he looks good and at least he’s looking into the camera too! haha.
bubble fun!! wen xun’s next to the gal wearing a cap! he was so fascinated by the bubbles and i was too! if any of u do not noe, i love playing with bubbles too! heehee.
yayy!! that’s wen xun finally getting his hands on one of those thingys so that he can blow his bubbles! (:
another type of bubble! this blows big big bubbles! like ultra big!!
small small bubbles…
having fun!! (:
soapy hands!! haha.
yayy!!! -jumps- bubbles are finally blown!! WOOHOO!! (: i love this pic!!
that’s lucas! think that’s how u spell his name! and dun be mistaken, he’s not digging his nose! juz rubbing it! haha.
me and lucas! he’s camera shy! he doesnt want to look at the cam! ): but at least i took a photo with him! WHEEEEE!! (: he is super cute too! he gave me a kiss on the cheek and hugged me!! yayy!! haha. and when i blew him a kiss, he gave that very shy look and a very shy smile and he placed both his hands at his heart! like as tho he caught the kiss in his heart! if u get wat i mean.. haha. SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! talking abt all these kids make me feel so happy and excited!! i really wanna serve in children church ministry after A’s!! (:
that’s lucas juz lazing ard. he loves to put both his feet on the table. haha. he looks juz like the kind. haha.
wen xun playing with this music recorder toy! haha. oh.. another thing.. he doesnt like loud sounds like from the PA system and stuff. he will start to wail and cry. the very first time when an announcement was made over the PA system, he hid under the table and started kicking.
that’s mr koala bear! haha. he looks tired and lazy and satisfied drinking his water! he’s so cute!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha.
closer view of mr koala bear!
lucas! he’s not digging his nose ah!! see!! his thumb is not in his nose!!
scratch scratch!
that’s the music recorder! haha. and that’s wen xun smiling into the camera! haha.
JAEDON!! pretty boy!! (: he wasnt in a very good mood on thursday. hence, the pouting. haha. and this is outside the classroom! it’s party time! there were lots of snacks!
that’s jenn and zhi hui! haha. mr koala bear was so satisfied with the food la! i kept laughing at him when i saw the way he ate! and he definitely loved fries! he eats non stop that jenn had to ‘confiscate’ the fries he had on his plate. he juz kept reaching out for the fries in the bad non stop! he doesnt noe when he’s full btw. haha. and his input and output very fast wan! haha.
he wants more! haha.
lucas is on special diet!
i am the king. haha. he juz loves to sit like this. haha.
i am the king too. haha. he juz stretches out his hand to jenn and ta da! there is food on his hand! and then he pops it into his mouth.. chews for a while and then his hand is out again. this whole cycle repeats and repeats. haha. jenn had to feed him non stop. haha. he is super duper cute la!! (:
that’s koala bear!! now u see him in full force juz lazing ard! while jaedon likes to do work and complete his tasks, zhihui likes to lie ard in this small corner! the moment he came to the class, he juz goes str to this corner and rolls ard and lie ard. haha.
another pic of him lazing ard! haha.
so yup! that’s abt all the pictures i have of the children! after that, i went to meet yanling at city hall! we had a whole 3 hrs to ourselves juz talking and walking ard marina centre! yayy!!
and that’s the key chains we bought!! (:
that’s the fruit tarts that zhiyong bought for us!! (:
i think God is so amazing! and i’m really falling more and more in love with God! being able to be walking more closely with Him than ever before makes me feel so happy! i want God to be like my very very BESTEST fren! i want to noe Him more… i want to feel and carry His tangible presence each and everyday! i want to tell God that i love Him every single day! in fact, ytd during svc, i realised that every single min, God has been on my mind and i’ve been talking to God everytime! so ya! happy happy!! yayy!!
i’ve yet to write my letter! better get on it soon! (:
[edit] i juz suddenly had this really random tot. if im looking for a boyfren, i’d definitely look for one with an abundance of inner beauty rather than one with juz good looks. good looks are juz a bonus for me in a boyfren’s package. HAHA!
in fact, the bible says that the things that are unseen are eternal, while the things that are seen are juz temporary. inner beauty is sth that is unseen, sth that is waiting to be discovered.. it is eternal! while good looks are seen and will only fade away with time! hence, temporary! so why go for looks when u can have someone with the inner beauty that will last? haha. and actually.. come to think of it, i’m not really attracted to guys who have good looks anyway. haha.
it feels like it’s been a long time since i last blogged! haha. yay!! tmr is my last paper!! chem mcq!! WHEE!!!!!! i’m so happy!! (: i think i shall take a 5 day break before i start getting back to my notes again! hee.
and after listening to last week’s sermon, i’ve decided to write a letter to this really impt person… and hopefully.. things will turn out for the better. (:
talking abt last week’s service, it was AWESOME!! the presence of God was SO STRONG!! u noe.. during worship… i felt someone standing real close to me… i’ll nv forget that experience. when i opened my eyes, i realised that yanling was standing quite some dist away from me. but yet.. that presence of that person was strong… so close… and immediately… i knew that it was God. His presence felt so close to me… i felt this sense of love, peace, comfort and this sense of closeness so strongly in my heart. i was totally lost… addicted to His presence… i dunno how to put it across… but it was definitely one divine encounter with God i’ll nv forget… (:
sermon was juz awesome too! it felt like as tho it was specially for me! haha. thank God for that sermon… (:
and during ministry time on sat… i juz wept in the presence of God… i cried out to Him.. i told Him that yes… i am angry…. i realise that it’s really no good suppressing my anger… when ur angry, juz admit that ur angry.
and when pst asked us to put our arms over each other…. and give our neighbours a squeeze… i juz cried as we sang… that sense of love… it’s so strong. and really… nth compares to church. nth beats going to church…
i cried even more when i suddenly, i heard jenn calling out to me. and when i turned, i saw my sister with her. as i walked over to find them… i was tearing non stop…. my dearest sister… tho i nv really told her how much i love her… and tho we still quarrel but not as much… deep down inside… i love her. i love her. and yes.. i love her. when i need comfort that day, she gave me hers. i felt this strong sense of sisterhood btwn the both us during svc that day. and when i went over, she gave me a hug. i couldnt stop crying. i really couldnt. i realise how precious she is to me… but i just didnt noe. when svc ended, she gave me a really huge hug… one of the longest hug she has ever given me.. i felt so loved and at that pt… i knew that i wasnt alone… i have my sister, my cell group…. i have yanling… i have my dearest silly family – jenn, mel, joce and fen! why shld i ever think i’m going thru all these alone?
i really thank God for each and everyone of them… (:
and during cell group on sunday, we did this simple activity after the sermon.. i was paired up with angie and pauline joined us too! we were suppose to ask each other 5 simple qns to practise our communication skills! hee. and during that short time of communication, pauline and angie said some really encouraging things to me! i’ll really nv forget them… (:
after cell, i was studying physics of fluids until i went a little high. haha. i told my sister i love her.. told my brother i love him… and then… i told God i love Him too! and guess wat! God laughed! haha. and somehow… i juz knew that God was laughing. i sensed it in my spirit. now.. i finally understand wat jenn meant that day at mel’s house. haha.
and actually… after i finished studying physics of fluids, i went to do my qt… and then… i wanted to go to sleep alr. but i felt this really strong prompting by the Holy Spirit to study 4 topics! and by experience… i knew that i cannot afford to juz ignore and dismiss all these promptings. and so.. i decided to sleep and wake up the next day to study! on the way to school, i studied and memorize those definitions which i tot was impt… but due to the lack of time, i only managed to study 2 or 3 topics…
and guess wat! when the paper started, as i flipped thru the paper, i realised that all 4 topics that i felt the prompting for came out!! i was like WOO HOO!! i kept smiling to myself coz i was very happy! haha. and we were suppose to choose 4 qns out of the 6 qns for section A. having not studied the last chapt, i decided to not do that qns but instead, i attempted another qns which, thank God, was quite easy. so yup! thank God for ‘letting me noe the qns’ in advance! haha. so hopefully i’ll be able to pass that paper!! YAY!! (:
when u think that words seem like harmless-looking and non-living letters, stop and think again.
words speak power… words speak authority. WORDS SPEAK LIFE OR DEATH INTO A SITUATION. WORDS SPEAK LIFE OR DEATH TOO INTO A RELATIONSHIP. how much can i stress on the word relationship?
ever felt like words pierced thru ur heart like a very sharpened knife? it felt like it juz tore ur heart into a million pieces.. and even when that millions pieces are pieced tgt again, it juz didnt feel like the heart u had before. it’s juz different. it feels like something is missing. it feels like it needs more repair. it feels like u need that person to apologise. but u noe that the apology will NEVER come. so wat wat wat? wat can repair such a broken heart?
only Jesus can. only God can. only His love can fill up that badly-repaired heart. only He can repair it to the fullest. to its most perfect shape. and only when u let the forgiveness of Christ overflow in ur heart, will u be set free from the many resentments and bitterness that have taken root in ur heart.
and yes.. that’s wat i need. i need to tell God that yes, i will lift everything up to u. 100% of it. i’ll keep nth with me. and yes.. i need that forgiveness. my heart’s still not 100% repaired. and i noe it. i wanna break free of this bondage. i wanna let the forgiveness of Christ overflow in my heart. i want the bad things out out out of my life!! but why? why is it so difficult?
i’m struggling… i really am. time and again, i tell myself i will let it go… i will not harbour it… but it’s not easy. flashbacks of the past keeps haunting me. flashbacks of the hurtful words pierced my heart. i wanna cry… cry out to God…
how will u ever noe how i’m feeling?
God.. i really really (x10000000000000000000) need You…
it really feels great to be walking closer to God! my qts have all been great! and no doubt, REFRESHING! i always walk out of my room feeling that my spirit has grown… that i have received sth from God! and yes! that feeling is AWESOME! (:
came back fm svc abt an hr ago. didnt go fellowship coz i needed to study! and svc today was juz great! God spoke to me abt this area of my life towards the end of the svc. and i juz weeped in the presence of God. lifting everything up to Him. that love… that peace… that presence… so familiar… so warm… He juz overwhelmed me… i couldnt stop crying…
i love You i love You i love You…
i love You i love You i love You…
i love You i love You i love You…
and my heart will follow wholly after You…. (:
and Father.. i love You with all my heart….
and when we sang that song to each other, that atmosphere of love was so great! city harvest is where i found God… where i found that strong sense of belonging… where i grew in the Lord… and it’s where i found pple who truly love me for the way i am… no matter how many faults i have… i noe they still love me…
it is really this love that we have for the pple ard us that separates us from the world. love covers a multitude of sins..
when ur studying so hard… drowning urself in papers and books… feeling demoralised.. feeling discouraged.. losing self-confident… it’s always great to noe that u are loved! not juz noeing.. but it’s always great to BE loved! i thank God for city harvest. i thank God for this huge spiritual family! i thank God for E310.
when i gave yanling a hug after svc, i cldnt help but to cry. i dunno why. but the love she has given me all these while has really impacted me. tho i’m studying and didnt have the time to contact her, but i noe that spirtually she is by my side… giving me the support… believing in me that i will do well.
and angie has that certain stare that will make u cry! haha. after debrief, pauline asked us to give each other a hug! i tot i was ok! but when angie came over, she juz looked at me! and i cried! i dunno why… haha.
i juz feel so loved… and i wanna spread this love to all of u out there!
i love you jo for all the things u have done for me! for juz being who u are… and for being such a wonderful leader to me…
i love you yanling for always showering me with so much love! ur love is like always in abundance!
i love you jenn, mel, fen and jocelyn! my dearest silly family! thanx for all the love that u guys have showered me with… thank you for making me feel that strong sense of belonging… for noeing that u guys care… (:
i love you E310!! for being such an AWESOME spiritual family!
i love you max and ancestor! for wonderful bs lessons… and for watching me grow in the Lord… thank you for the many many many things both of u have done for me! i really appreciate it! (:
i love you JMG – ra, pei, xiaohong, sam, fishball, melcolm and cheong wei! tho i noe im always like so busy.. and nv really go out with u guys… but thanx so much for making my life in vj much more fun! juz noe that i love u guys alot! (:
i love you GST – ame, lu, rong and audrey! my very dear studying partners! u guys nv fail to make studying fun! and i always look forward to studying all of u!
i love HOUSE COM!! all of u ROCK MY WORLD! i dunno how it wld be like without getting to noe all of u in vj!
i love you ade, huilin and shumin! rmb our date after A’s k! i really miss all of u sooooooo much!
i love you mugger buddies! i really love studying with u guys too! i’ll nv forget the time when we studied overnight at the airport! (:
i love you xinying! for being so sweet and nice to me! tho i noe we havent toked much lately… but i promise to catch up with u after A’s! and we’ll go celebrate ur birthday after my prelims! we have yet to eat our fried mars bars!
i love you mavis too!! for wearing sch u with me! and for all the funny moments u left me! i like the care bear too!! 
last but not least… i love my sis!! (:
hee. so yup! that’s abt it! I LOVE ALL OF U!! i hope i didnt miss anyone out! =P
God is so wonderful! He’s so amazing!! i’m falling deeper in love with Him!
it’s really amazing how God works! and i’m really in AWE!! (: He is the Alpha and the Omega… the Beginning and the End… WOOHOO!!
i really feel that there is a breakthru in my spiritual life! and i noe that there is! AMEN TO THAT! i’ve grown another step closer to God! WHEE!
i’m gonna share testimony during cell tmr!
I LOVE YOU MY DEAREST DADDY GOD!
HAPPY TEACHERS’ DAY TO ALL THE TEACHERS OUT THERE!!
okies. i think it’s really amazing how one person can seem to totally forget all the good things that u have done for that person. at one moment, that person can be so nice to u… juz becoz that person needs help. and once help is not needed anymore… ooooh la la… that person becomes a totally different person! POOF.
i should juz vanish from this earth.
sometimes i wonder isit really becoz that person was going thru ___ and hence our ___ improved?? i was still happily telling pple out there how happy i am to see things picking up. i was GENUINELY happy alrights.
but now… HOHOHO. i feel like santa claus. POOF.
if things improving would mean that i will get hurt much deeper, then, i rather it not improve and juz remain the way it is.
u nv think do u? u nv noe how much hurt u’ve caused to the many pple ard u do u? u juz nv noe… becoz…..
did wat i fear really come true??
POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.
