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today was yet another demoralising paper!!
GOD!!! SAVE ME!!!
i really really really did study…
but why like that?!? =(
did the paper like as tho i did not study for it at all…
SIGH.
screwed BIG TIME.
and my sister came home to tell me how companies like Price Water Coopers (one of the BIG 4) shortlist their candidates for interviews coz she’s working in the HR dept there part time for the next 3 weeks or so.. they will rank each candidate with a point system and then she went one to tell me how impt it is that u do well in uni coz everything is so competitive! all the As and Bs! she hardly saw a C in the resumes! can u imagine!!!
SIGH.
i’m in central library now! using rhonda’s laptop to blog! haha.
im supposed to be studying but wells, i’m feeling really SIAN and tired. so decided to give myself a well deserved break! haha.
i woke up at 6am today! but wait a min, i actually woke up at 5am at first! coz i couldnt sleep! this is the first time that i actually felt so nervous over an exam! to the extent that i couldnt really sleep well!
gosh! so yes, i woke up at 6am coz i have a paper at 9am. i only had 5 hours of sleep and i’m currently going to SEH very soon! bleahs.
anyway, management science paper today wasnt good at all! and yes, u heard me. NO GOOD. =(((((
honestly, i felt like crying during the paper. but of course, i didnt! i’m strong! wahahahaha.
the paper was horrendously tramautizing and bad. seriously, i dunno if i was the only one who felt that way. wateva it is, there were only 4 qns for the paper. and each qns is 25 marks! there are parts to some qns but there was this particular qns with ALL 25 marks allocated to just one qns! so no sub-parts to that qns to help guide u along the way. and yes, i stumbled. i didnt noe how to do. i didnt even noe how to start! grr.
to make matters worse, every of the other 3 qns in the paper, there will definitely bound to be some parts of the qns which i didnt noe how to do. so yes, there goes my marks!
rah.
oh wells. i’m just glad that the paper is over. no more management science. thank God!
4 more papers to go!
with one module i have not even started yet.
screwed man.
alrightys, the lib is closing, tata!
briony is such a dear!! =D
she brought me freshly baked doughnuts that she bought for the cell group!
she found out that i wont be going for cg today coz i’m taking study break. so she drove down to my house to deliver me a box of VERY YUMMY doughnuts!! 6 doughnuts in all from MUNCHY DONUT!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!! haha. i feel so loved!! WOOTS!!!!! =P
i was still so envious of wayne at first coz his cg members went to surprise him with supper on fri. but haha! God must have heard my prayers and thus, sent forth briony!!
i feel loved!! lalalalalalalalala… =D
thanks so much briony! these doughnuts definitely brightened up my day! 
they made studying much more endurable too! hehe.
me: “God, You’ve called me to be an evangelist for You… is it really true? look at the number of pple who actually stayed… only 1… my sister… are You sure i’ll be an evangelist for You?”
God: “yes my child, I’ve called you. do not doubt it.”
and yes, i will preach in front of millions. (:
if that is all that matters to me, then ur so wrong. wake up ur idea. it’s time to move on. and not be stuck at where u are at.
we have alr made it clear that that isnt all that matters to us.
so come on, stop wallowing in ur own pity-party and keep thinking that the people around u dun care abt u at all.
just that one line in ur msg broke my heart… and hurt me deeply. if ur ___ is all that matters so much so that u dun give a damn abt how ur words would affect others, i’m sorry but ur claim that the pple around u dun care abt u, applies the same way as how u dun care abt the other pple around u as well.
and yes, i apologise for the times when maybe i really did neglect ur welfare. but hey, i’m having my exams in like 2 days time. do u noe? did u even care to ask how i’m doing? did u even bother?
to be honest, ur just sitting there waiting for pple to pity u… to care for u… u want others to be pro-active in asking abt how u are… but how abt u? have u done so? rmb, u reap wat u sow. u want others to care for u, u have to first start showing care and concern for the other pple around u.
there’s so much i wanna say alright. and if u want me to be honest, i will. but i’m just afraid that u wont be able to take it.
MOVE ON. fullstop. period.
today must have to be the most hardworking day of my life!!
i woke up super early in the morning just to go to school to study! reached school at abt 10 and started studying! tot rhonda would be coming to study.. but in the end she didnt. was planning to leave school early and go home for dinner!
but it turned out that wayne wanted to study in school too! so i studied with him and his fren (i think his name is peng?) until abt 12 midnight!!! can u imagine?!?!?!? i think i’ve studied for at least 9 hours today!!
but PRAISE GOD that today’s studying was SUPER productive! i think i covered abt 5-6 chapters of econs! YAY!!
and pow wee was very funny! last min give me heart attack and ask me to try and get wayne to go home early! coz pow wee and his cg members were at wayne’s house waiting for him to come home! they bought him supper to surprise him! oh man! very sweet of them right! if i’m the cgl, i’ll feel so loved and touched la!
but anyway, i managed to do so! told wayne that i wanna KO alr.. so we went home slightly before 12 midnight! haha.
and gosh! to think that tmr is sat.. and my time on sats usually pass VERY FAST! it’s as good as no time to study.. then i’m left with SUNDAY only to study!!! and then monday is management science exam alr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHEESH!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m really quite worried lehz! how how how?!?!?!?!?
PLSE PRAY FOR ME!!!!!!!
i really really hope that i’ll be able to survive my very first final exam in uni! i’m hoping and aiming that i’ll be able to get a cap score of at least 3.0! i really dun wanna get anything below 3.0!
and my resolution for next sem is that i’m gonna be more hardworking and more consistent in my work!!!
anyway.. my mum is so cute and funny la! haha! was msging her while studying today.. and she told me some funny funny stuff! haha! alrights mum, we’ll see wat God has planned out for me! dont u worry! hehe. =P
and im actually feeling quite emo now.. i dunno why! maybe becoz of all the studying? oh wells.
on a sidenote, why do i always end up doing and saying such embarrassing things?! esp……………. oh man! i can just dig a hole and hide my face and bury it there for as long as possible!! =(
pompom is really excited for xmas!!
i’m definitely looking forward to it!! YAYNESS!!
cell group meeting today is AWESOME! i really believe that God is stirring up my spirit once again for sth new!! WOOTS!! SO EXCITING!!!!!!!!
If God is a limitless God and He is the limit of my life, wouldnt that mean that my life has no limits?!
WOW! wat a revelation! heehee. (:
pompom wont put God in a box! pompom wont limit God to the many things that He can do thru her! (:
today angie and i were just sharing with each other abt some stuff and abt the new dreams and visions that we have. and guess wat!! we both said the same thing! –> to see the WHOLE of Singapore saved! isnt that GREAT?!! haha.
City Harvest wouldnt just stop at 30,000… 50,000… 100,000… but we will cont sowing, ploughing, and reaping and eventually, we will see Singapore saved as a nation!
amazing huh huh huh! haha! =P
alrights, back to my books again! (:
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
why do pple fast and pray? becoz they BELIEVE that something will breakthrough in the spiritual realm.. becoz they want to SEE something happen..
indeed, SEEING IS BELIEVING.. (:
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
fast and pray
yes, i will fast and pray. becoz i BELIEVE. becoz i SEE it. becoz i REALLY BELIEVE in the power of prayer and fasting. becoz i BELIEVE that my hunger, my sincerity, my determination, my strong-will, my passion, my drive, my motivation, my enthusiasm will eventually touch God to move His hands.
if others can fast and pray for ___, why cant we? all it takes is CONVICTION and DETERMINATION. (:
To think that the universe
Could not with hold Your glory
You choose to live in me
i was worshipping God with the song “Sanctuary” a few days ago, and it came as a revelation to me. if the whole universe cant contain His glory.. but yet, He choose to let His glory dwell in us.
just imagine this with me k.. something that is REALLY REALLY huge, like the size of the universe, is being squeezed into something really tiny, wouldnt there be an overflow?
similarly, God has SO MUCH glory that even the universe cant contain! and this much of His glory actually dwells in us! surely there will be an overflow isnt it! and.. doesnt that make us like a SUPER ULTRA SHINING light/star for God? that thought just excites me! no wonder we are all carriers of God’s presence and glory!
wat a revelation.. (;
EVERYTIME i feel discouraged, God, You are my source of hope!
notice that i use the word EVERYTIME! not sometimes… not once in a while.. but EVERY SINGLE TIME when i’m discouraged, God comes thru for me! God comes and pick me up time and again… to get me back on my both feet!
indeed, this time round, God is still (and He will always be) faithful…
i went to church today feeling very burdened. i told myself that i have to be strong.. i must learn how to control my emotions and not let my emotions get the better of me.. true enough, i managed to do so until briony came.
briony shared with me abt something and asked me some stuff too. i didnt want to comment much coz i knew i couldnt control much longer. after a while, when i tot i was ok, i started sharing with briony certain things. there and then, she gave me a hug which almost made me cry.
i started telling her that i really really really believe in the power of prayers. i really believe in all the testimonies that people in church have shared and i always feel so encouraged. i always believe that as long as we pray and fast… we can be the one standing on that stage, sharing our amazing testimony. that was when she suggested that we can meet up every week to pray tgt and yes! i was VERY encouraged by it!
suddenly, briony said she wanted to pray before svc started. so we prayed. before i could even pray more than 2 lines, i started tearing alr. i was choked with tears as i prayed. but i’ll always rmb the verse that says that God will always keep our tears in a bottle in heaven becoz these tears are so precious to Him. who would want to keep their tears but even our tears, God wants to keep. doesnt that tell u how much how much He cares for us? how precious we are to Him?
after we finished praying, this was the 1st time i actually saw briony tear because of this. this is my first time that i actually feel that (besides pauline) briony could really understand my heart.. it just suddenly felt that there is someone i can actually confide in and tok to. briony felt like my big sister there and then. i noe and i noe that after the multiplication in june this yr, my relationship with briony went on to another level.
and the ushers kept asking me abt the seats! SO EMBARRASSING U NOE!! for them to see my tear-stained face.. SHEESH.
so anyway, svc today was AWESOME AND GREAT! tho i was down, i praised God like never before. but during worship, from the depths of my heart, i cried out to God.
when i’m weak, You are strong
You’re my feet when i cant move on
You are the light in the dark
You’re the whisper inside my heart
i told God that the burden that i’m carrying is really too heavy and i dunno how much longer i can hang in there. just at that point, we sang the above part of the worship song and i teared. God reminded me that He is my pair of feet when i cant move on. He will carry me and see me through every single thing. i do not have to despair.. i do not have to worry.. He will not give me anything that is too much for me to handle.
i believe that this is a point of time God wants to use to stretch my capacity… to prepare me for the calling that He has over my life..
and then we went on to sing the song “Thank You”..
Thank You for the promises You made
For the gift of life You gave
Always, i will sing Your praise
Thank You for the chance to live again
For Your grace that never ends
Always i will sing Your praise
You mean everything to me
You’re all this world will never be
Your name reigns in my heart
You’re all that i depend on
at the very first line we sang, i just went on my knees and started tearing again. the promises that God has made… the many promises in the Bible… i was just so overwhelmed. God reminded me of His goodness. God just captivated me once again. i was so lost in His presence that i believe i could have gone on and on worshipping God.
God truly amazes me.
all i can say is that pam isnt a wonderwoman. pam cant do everything. pam isnt that strong. pam oso needs help. pam is nothing but only human. and pam needs God more than ever before.
Pastor Phil painted a picture of the 12 disciples at the last supper with Jesus. and wow! truly, a picture speaks a thousand words. the painting was like his sermon for us! he didnt say much.. but yet, svc was just SO AWESOME! presence of God was there.. strong atmosphere… like wat rhonda said, it was very evangelical.
i like one part which he said… tho u may think that u are insignificant but to God, u are significant. if our God Almighty noes u by name… noes the number of strands of hair that u have, doesnt that tell u how significant u are in God’s eyes? u may not be the name that many people may mention… u may not be the person that many people will take notice of… BUT YOU are still SIGNIFICANT in God’s eyes even if u may be insignificant in other people’s eyes! (:
yes yes, i really like that part. (:
alrights, i better get down to studying now.
pompom will move on. pompom will pray and seek God more than ever before. (:
pam needs to lose weight!! i really really need to lose weight lehz!! -pouts- if not i wont be able to wear nice nice clothes..
but i got no motivation!! how how how… haha.
i think i should watch that show that i watched when i was in secondary school again.. that really motivated me to lose weight and i lost 5kg in 2 months! haha!
but i need to get down to exercising again!
adeline, if ur reading this, u got to help me lose weight lehz! shayna too!! both of u must help me!! oh man oh man…
today was a good day!! (=
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHENG IPEI!!! u’ve grown a year older!! heehee. enjoy ur 19th yr on earth k!! love ya!! -huggs-
anyway.. shiaw yan shared with me some stuff today and i’m really happy for him!! so glad that he made that decision to stop going for it! it’s a wise choice bro!! and he oso promised me that he will go to church with me when exams end!! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! how cool can that get! and tho he said that he wanna remain a buddhist even if he does go to church with me, HAHA, we shall see! i’m FULL OF FAITH that God will touch him deeply and greatly! (: indeed, a touch from heaven can turn one’s life around!
God, i trust in YOU!! AMEN!!
studied with wayne and rhonda in school today! my FIRST time studying with wayne and only the SECOND time that i’ve seen him in school! it’s quite funny to see him in school tho! haha. saw LRB for like less than 5 mins when we went for dinner. hee.
after studying, i hitched a ride from wayne! didnt noe that he stayed SO NEAR my house! haha. so anyway, i had the privilege of sharing my salvation testimony with him!!
i really like to share with people how God picked me up at the LOWEST and MOST HORRIBLE point in my life! ask me ask me!! i’ll be more than happy to share with u guys out there! it totally reminded me of how good and faithful God has been to me for these 2yrs that i have been in my walk with Him! (:
love You Jesus!!
You are everything that i need!
alrightys, back to my books!!
JESUS ROCKS!!
