came across Pastor Phil Pringle’s tweet…

“what we give attention to, grows
what we focus on, we get”

how true!

ha ha. i received an email today… and well, that email generated mixed feelings in me… on one hand, i was felt unjustified, on the other, instead of feeling angry, i was very upset and felt like crying.

i guess they wouldnt have understood how it was like for me the past few weeks… i didnt want to deliberately skip meetings and not hand in my parts on time… but rather, i was so tied down with other more urgent and pressing matters.

i did my parts… but they edited it until it was a 180degrees change… then why ask me to do in the first place?

but anyway, today, that email came… one of them stated her unhappiness towards me… i kinda expected that it will come because the group just refused to reply my emails.. and when i tried helping to edit the report and left them an email, that very same person replied me in a not-so-tactful manner…

well, i was sad of course. i mean… i really really tried my best… but i guess only the few closer frens around me would understand how busy i really was.

they would never understand anyway and i dun expect them to understand the position i’m in and maybe it’s really not an excuse for me to say that i’m busy with ____ stuff. and they would most probably just say that they are equally busy.

i just wish to not care abt the report and leave it alone. but i cant… it’s 40% of my total marks. i tried helping to edit the english because i really dun think it’s good… but well, since the others think that the report is ok, then wat more can i say? isnt it always the case that majority always wins?

i feel so lazy… i dun wanna do anything that i’m suppose to do now.. i just want to REST… inertia building up!! TAT’S BAD!!!!

oh yes! i do have sth to say afterall!

i’m tired and sleepy and i wanna sleep… when i finally tot that today i have nth much to do and can rest… i realised that i’m SO WRONG!!!!

i wanna take a break and find a day where i can just be away from my phone, my work and everything else. just totally be uncontactable!!! and maybe go for a one day trip to somewhere… pulau ubin oso can… i just want a day where i can just relaxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx and enjoy nature….

hmm.. i feel like blogging… but i dunno wat i wanna type abt… just a little lost for words… is that good or bad? haha.

oh wells… think i got nth to say la…………. goodbye! ahahaha. =P

When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now. In so far as I learn to love my earthly dearest at the expense of God and instead of God, I shall be moving towards the state in which I shall not love my earthly dearest at all. When first things are put first, second things are not suppressed but increased.
C.S. Lewis

pompompam is not some superhero, wonderwoman etc.. pompompam is only human who has her limitations and her shortcomings…

for the first time in a long while, i think i’m on the verge of breaking down coz i’m feeling very stressed…

if only u all could just cooperate and help me out…

my testimony (:

My parents would always scold me when I was in primary school and cane me for the results which they deem as “poor”. A ‘band 1’ was not considered good but only when I scored over 90 marks, would I then be able to win the approval of my parents. My PSLE results were not very ideal and I had to use my CCA, badminton, to appeal into the school that I desired – St Nicholas.

My academic experiences in primary school left me a scar. I felt that no matter how well I did, my parents were never happy. Moreover, the very fact that I had to appeal into St Nicks made me feel like as though I was very stupid and useless.

Hence, I worked really hard in secondary school. Things didn’t go too bad afterall. I achieved good grades and my badminton career was at its peak. I had friends and was well-known among my classmates and schoolmates because I was a sportsgirl back then. However, despite all the achievements, there was a void deep down within me that I somehow couldn’t find ways to fill.

My family relationships at home were so bad to the extent that I almost committed suicide because of a quarrel I had with my mum. I entertained suicidal thoughts and always wallowed in self-pity.

I always put on a strong and cheerful front because I did not want my friends to know that deep within that hard exterior was just an ordinary girl with lots of wounds and hurts.

I started searching for love through the guys that I knew when I was in secondary school. I got into my first relationship at the age of 16 after knowing the guy for less than a month. I thought he loved me but little did I know, 2 months after we got together, he dumped me. I was afraid to tell anyone the truth and hence, I told people that I dumped him instead. By now, u would have been able to guess… I suffered from insecurities and very very low self-esteem even though people thought that I am a very confident person.

It was not until I reached the lowest point in my life when God picked me up. I enrolled myself into Victoria Junior College but my first few months there were like hell to me. I didn’t like my new classmates, my orientation group, my new badminton team, the new badminton teacher-in-charge and my life back at home was in a mess! With me being locked out of house once, I felt that life couldn’t get any worse until I met my friend Melissa who brought me to a Christian yearly event – the Festival of Praise (FOP).
Though I was a little hesitant about going for FOP, I still agreed to go because I thought that maybe getting a religion would help me get my life back on track.

FOP was something very different that I experienced! People were jumping around, lifting their hands up high and singing their hearts out during the praise and worship. That night, after the concert, I felt something different within me. Suddenly, I felt light-hearted, happy and joyful! Suddenly, the problems that I was facing felt so small that it couldn’t dampen my mood! I didn’t know why but I knew that the Christian concert I just attended did something to my life.

The next day, after FOP, I attended City Harvest Church 16th Anniversary service. Though I was tired, I was just so excited about attending the service together with Melissa. I met her cell group members who were really warm and friendly. They made me feel like as though I was the most important person at the indoor stadium!

Service soon started. There and then, I found myself jumping like one of them and getting so excited praising God. It was not until worship, when I was deeply touched by God. We sang the song “Holy” and there was this line that says “move in me, change my life…” At that point of time, from the depths of my heart, I cried out to God saying, “YES! God! If You are real, I want a change in my life… if you are real, please move in me… I’m so sick and tired of the life that I’m living.” Before I knew it, tears welled up in my eyes and I started crying uncontrollably. The void within me was suddenly filled up with overflowing love and joy! That marked the beginning of a new adventure and my new life with God!

Things did not change overnight. But now with a living God in me, my life started to pick up. I was no longer entertaining suicidal thoughts, no longer insecure but instead, I was experiencing true joy and became a confident person knowing who I am in the Lord.

Relationships at home got better too. Seeing the change in me, my family started coming to the Lord one at a time and in 3 months, my whole family was saved!

Through my cell group, I began to form strong and lasting friendships. I no longer sought love through the guys I knew, but rather, unconditional love from the Father in Heaven.

Looking back, I thank God for the lowest point of my life that I went through. If it’s not for that, I would never have known Him. I cannot imagine what my life would be like without God. I would most probably have carried out my suicidal thoughts and would not be here typing this testimony to u. God changed my life, brought me out of the darkness and into the light. I now see a meaning and purpose in my life and I thank God for that! I am truly in love with the Creator of this world. (:

haha. that’s my testimony for the ANcounter booklet! but i’m definitely gonna try to shorten it! (=

i guess even tho last week was suppose to be my week long holiday, it was no doubt a little like hell week for me! so many projects to do, so many project meetings to attend! i hardly had any time to do my own revision!

there was oso badminton outreach, sentosa outreach… prawning… so on and so forth! but despite the really stretching times, God is still good! indeed, God is good all the time and all the time God is good!!!

sentosa outreach was a success with the cell group seeing around 15 frens!!! WAT A MIRACLE!!!! A BREAKTHROUGH!!!! REVIVAL IS HERE!!! revival is NOW, revival is POSSIBLE as long as we commit our ways to the Lord!

despite the rain, it did not dampen our moods! we still made frens and established good relationship with the more potential frens! it’s AMAZING! God is simply AMAZING! its now time to start ploughing thru and doing a tight follow on the potential frens!

mar hols workshop planning combine with joce cg is starting to take up more form! it’s kinda exciting to see how an idea is slowly coming to past! and i guess it’s a kind of different outreach that we never really embarked on! the registration forms are really cool with the background designed by kristin!! she’s amazing! and edits were done by your truly to give the final product!!

i’m really thankful for the many ideas and inspiration that God has given me during these few months when i rose up! it’s just amazing how as i expand my thinking to start thinking out of the box, ideas come like WHOOOOOO!!!!!! haha. exciting!! (=

moving on, i didnt sleep at all last night! i really cant believe that i stayed up because i had to complete my assignment and submit it by 530pm today! if it was last time, i would have not bothered and just went to bed and worry abt the incomplete assignment only the next day! so yes, this is the first and i hope the last time that i’ll ever have to stay up without sleeping to complete my assignment!

but despite the hellness of the week, some cg mbrs were really sweet!

i dunno is it becoz i’m too stressed and losing weight coz suddenly i had quite alot of candies to see me through my horrible night ytd! haha

lala and zoe gave me subway choco chip cookie on sat, aini gave me chocolate pocky tgt with a nice card and shijie gave me strawberry pocky!! haha.

and ytd, chris, roy, kayven, zoe and stella sent me msgs to encourage me! that really brought a smile to my face and saw me thru the rest of the night! so yep!! thanks everyone!!! (=