start of studying expedition! (:

this is currently my most fav worship song! it rocks!! i love it so very much!! (:

SANCTUARY
when my world was in darkness
You spoke Your word night turned into day
You beauty filled this place

when my world stood in silence
You filled my heart with songs that nv end
forever i will praise

to think that the universe
could not withold Your glory
You choose to live in me
i’m so amazed

(and) i worship You Lord
my life in You restored
here is my heart
make it Your sanctuary
for nobody else but Jesus only (You)

You are faithful and true
glorious lord
all my life
it is You i adore
You’ve touched my soul
completed my world i surrender to You

WHEE!! i’m so totally in love with this song! read the lyrics and absorb every single word that is in this song… and u will realise that even w/o the melody of the song, the lyrics itself alr speak volumes… and it alr sound so nice! imagine with the music!! u’ll juz melt listening to this song! how meaningful… how touching… esp the first stanza.. it really reminded me of my first love for God! (: and as we sang this song during svc on sat, i juz teared in the presence of God. the love of God juz overwhelmed me once again. thank You Abba Father. (:

so anyway… today was the start of the studying marathon tgt with my fellow GST members with a few addition to this family! WHEE!! so today, we have lu, aud, rong, ame, sheryl, trina and shihui!! and of course, me!! (: i think there’s gonna be more pple joining us!! haha.

well.. i really love studying with them! the productivity, fruitfulness, time spent tgt, the company etc… its juz great studying with them!! at least it helped me relief my mind of stuff too… i guess i’ve juz been thinking too much these past few days. and at least, i studied and managed to get stuff into my head!

i really feel very encouraged when i was studying… becoz God kept reminding me of the vision that He gave me for my results. and i really felt like the Holy Spirit was next to me as i studied! i was so focused on my work and was hardly distracted! only when i finished studying wat i was supposed to, then did i ‘play ard’. haha. furthermore, each time i felt like it’s impossible or when i feel discouraged, God juz kept reminding me that i can do it. that i’ll be able to acheive such results! and WOW! i nv fell aslp when i studied! He is indeed a faithful God.

and as i studied econs, concepts that i could not understand in the past juz came to me like a revelation! like ‘oh! i finally see the light!’ u get wat i mean! haha. it’s just like the Holy Spirit lighting up my path for me as i studied!! really encouraging!! and furthermore, as i did the tys mcqs, i finished ard 50 mcqs in 1 hr!! sth that i can nv achieve in the past! and the best part is, i had less than 10 wrong! WOO HOO!! haha. so on fire to study! so motivated to do well!! the desire to glorify God is burning so strongly in my heart!! i’m really believing in God that my mid yr results are gonna be much much better! the best yet!! WHEE!! (:

O Lord… plse help me keep on going! and to keep that passion burning so strongly! thank You my dearest Daddy!! (:

so yup! cant wait to go to school tmr to study!! 😀

i dunno wat to say.

honestly, that’s how i’m feeling right now. i really really dunno wat to say. i still cherish this frenship of course. but i just dunno how to go abt mending it and putting it back on track once again.

i used to be dominating and wateva i have on my mind, i juz speak it freely. but seriously, i’ve mellowed down alot. last time, i will juz tell the person off if i’m not happy with him or her. but now, i dun. i cant even bring myself to say anything in front of u.

i really dunno how to approach this whole thing… to tell u how i’m feeling. and i guess my main reason why i choose not to say anything is the fear of losing this frenship… the fear that wateva i say might coz u to maybe react in such a negative way that i might lose a dear fren like u… the fear of the awkwardness that might follow after telling u… the fear that u might change ur impression of me… thinking that i’m possessive or sensitive or wat not.

i’d rather keep all these to myself than to let u or anyone noe. but i need somewhere or sth where i can pin down my tots and emotions. and i tot no one cld find out anything. but nv did i expect that there was such a thing called ‘encoding’ or ‘zoom in’. trust me… this frenship really means alot to me…

i dunno if u noe how much i love all my frens including u of course… how much i cherish them… and how much i wish to see the frenships that i’ve built grow stronger each day… i dunno if u noe how much all these frenships mean to me… and to be at a lost right now is sth that i seriously detest…

i really wanna pick up that phone and dial ur number… or msg u… but i juz cant bring myself to do it… i dunno why.. maybe it’s juz that pride in me…. maybe it’s becoz i dun wanna take that first step again… maybe becoz i’m in that throwing-tantrums-and-sha-jiao-ing mood…

honestly, i cant pretend that nth is wrong. and seriously, i would rather u read my blog than for me to tok to u face to face, or call u, or write a letter to u, or even msg u. i dunno why i prefer it this way. maybe juz so that i can tell u wateva i’m feeling indirectly? and maybe i juz wanna avoid everything. toking to u face to face might be awkward… calling u up, u might juz keep very quiet… writing a letter to u might juz as well be weird too… and msging u might not even get me any reply from u… but i doubt u will ever get to read this entry…

so anyway… i think i shall juz try to get back to my notes for the time being…

all i need is juz some reassurance to noe that u care and that i’m not being taken for granted……

You are my hiding place.

svc was juz awesome today! awesome, amazing, fantastic, superb! i was really impacted by the msg. really caught it in my spirit. i juz felt so good after svc. a msg that came at the right time. God definitely did speak to me thru that msg. and the new praise and worship songs were juz great!

You are my hiding place. nth beats being in church. nth beats tarrying in Your presence. nth beats noeing that You are there. nth beats seeking solace in You. nth beats having You in my life. thank You my Father.

also, thank you jenn for calling me this morning and talking to me. u really called at the right time… when i really needed someone to listen to me. and i guess u were right… i kept all these in me for too long. thank you so much for listening. i feel much better. thanx alot my dear! (:

and thank you JO for talking to me before svc too. thank you for comforting me… for giving me that reassurance. thanx alot my dearest cgl!! ur the best!! and i really thank God for placing someone so impt like u in my life! (:

a little too …

today juz didnt go as well as wat i hoped it would have been.
the feeling of being out of place juz set in.
i felt like crying.
but there wasnt anywhere i cld do it.
i wanted to call audrey.
to tok to her… to meet up with her…
but my phone was down.
why did my phone juz have to screw up at that time?
i could tell that felicia was trying hard to cheer me up with her jokes… and i really appreciate it. thanx alot my dear! and thanx alot to clar too!! for toking to me online…
sometimes… all i want is juz a little more care and concern. and maybe… a little more attention too…
but sometimes… pple juz take me for granted…
all i want is juz to have a long nice tok with u… really… that’s all i want. to catch up with u.. to find out how ur doing… but it juz seems so difficult to start a conversation with u nowadays. ur juz too busy with ur stuff. and i understand that. i guess maybe u find me a nuisance for being high at times and for being in a ‘bad mood’ at times. but i juz dunno how to express my emotions to u. u noe ur impt to me becoz u were the one who brought me to church. and u really nv noe how much i thank God for u. i still rmb that after cell multiplied, u said u will call me since we are not in the same cell anymore. i was really glad. but that call nv came. juz one call will definitely brighten up my day. juz one call to show that u meant wat u said. but in the end, i called u… and i dun think we toked for long either. honestly, i feel neglected. i juz dun wanna tell u.

VJC SOCCER GUYS CAME IN CHAMPS YTD!! WHEE!! i’m really so happy for them!! even tho i dun exactly noe them… but i was juz so happy!! they fought hard!! and turned the tables ard!! it was definitely a well-deserved title for them! sweet victory was in the atmosphere! 3 CHEERS TO EVERYONE!! ESP TO HOUSE PPLE!! OUR CHEERING REALLY ROCKS!! esp when a few of us plus xinying and denise went over to the open air spectators stand. the view there was juz AWESOME! goals scored by our guys were seen very clearly from our point of view!! 😀

actually i wanted to give a good and detailed breakdown of the whole soccer match as well as to upload some photos… but i juz i’m juz not in a mood to do that today. oh wells.

[edit] i miss the 3 of u… not seeing u all in school today was juz weird…

VJC!! (:

another wonderful day!! WHEE!! (: school’s really getting more and more fun!! i dunno why… but maybe becoz it’s the sports season… and that’s why there’s alot of match support to go to!! (:

i’m so very motivated to study during this june holidays!! i really wanna do well for mid yrs! it’s time to start getting my act tgt and plan my hols well!! pei, ra and i were writing down our hol events on this planner that i printed out! and when i saw how much time tuition was going to take up my hols, i nearly fainted!! just my hol activities alone, my planner looks more or less filled up alr!! lets see… i have emerge to attend to, SATS, tuition tuition and more tuition, church, cell… looks like i’ll have to cut down on my fellowship time after svc and cell group. )=

anyway.. i went for hockey match support today!! girls won!! YAY!! WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS!! WHEE!!!!!! so happy for them!! esp joyce!! i love joyce!! she’s such a good goal keeper!! heehee. met weifen there too!! wasnt surprised to see her anyway.. haha.

and i REALLY REALLY LOVE HOUSE COMM PPLE ALOT ALOT ALOT!! they rock!! and i guess they are the reason why i love going for match support with them!! they are juz so enthu and i really like to cheer with them!! WHEE!! GO VJ!! (:

and btw… these are the titles we won this yr!!
wushu
hockey – GIRLS
softball – GIRLS
tennis – GIRLS
soccer – GIRLS

haha. noticed that most of the titles won are by the GIRLS?!?!? haha. not sure if wushu was won by the girls too.. but anyway… GIRL POWER!! YEA MAN!! haha. VJ GIRLS ROCK!! WHEE!! (: haha.

stayed and watched the hockey boys for a while. left for j8 after that to meet my dearest emily!! haha. she’s so nice!! gave me a DKNY bag!! and we went to cafe cartel for dinner!! had a really nice dinner with her!! and it was nice toking to her too!! yay!! I LOVE EMILY!! 😀

oh ya. and poor xinying lost her hp today!! i really pray that she’ll be able to get it back soon!!

and sth’s wrong with my com!! i cant insert pics into my entry!! grr… nvm.. i shall post more pics up another day!! (:

i had fun today!! (:

school was great today i must say!! haha. didnt fall asleep during lesson time! and somehow school juz seems to be getting better!! having quite a lot of fun in school with pei, xiao hong and ra! despite the fact that they keep saying i’m les!!

to the 3 of u… I’M NOT LES!!

and make a guess who they think my les partnerS are! haha. =P

headed to the library after school to do work with the 3 of them. at abt 340, i went to meet owner, xinying, felicia and ming fen! and off we went to marina square!!

went to watch da vinci code with them plus rong, lu, sheryl, shihui, ame, audrey, trina and kai xin!! 13 of us altgt!! WHEE!! haha. had so much fun with them today!!

and i tot the movie was not bad. maybe becoz i didnt read the book… there were alot of twists in the story… and i think the guy is SO SMART!! high IQ!! i was really impressed by the way he can figure his way thru all the riddles and codes and puzzles. quite exciting oso. but i think got some parts quite gruesome.

and shi hui actually jumped at one part of the movie! and i heard ame let out a yelp during the movie too!! AHAHAH!! i tot i was bad enough coz i was like covering my ears and closing my ears at some parts of the movie! i think they are worse la! heehee.

after the movie ended, all of us were juz glad that we cld get out of the cinema!! it was freezing!! haha. and then… ame and sheryl started going high!! AME WENT MAD!! like TOTALLY!! at first before the movie started, she like so dao… dun want to tok to me like that.. then after the movie she keep making fun of me!! ok.. i’m used to it anyway… all of them and in fact alot of other pple like to make fun of me too! haha. oh wells. i ren ming alr. hee.

took the bus to city hall mrt station. NEL-ed home with rong, ming fen, ame and shi hui.

overall, it was a WONDERFUL day!! and i thank God for the time spent with everyone!! WHEE!! (:

hmm…

i finally plucked up my courage to tok to 3 of them. i’m seriously not very good at consoling… i can only counsel and give advice… but i dun exactly think i’m good at comforting pple. esp when it comes to speaking… i would rather write small notes to pple to comfort them.

but i really feel so lost and helpless. as in.. i really understand how they feel. and i really dun want to see them so down and dejected. but wat can i say?? i’m really lost for words… they are a bunch of pple who really made my days in vj… i really dun want to see them like this….

my dear gals… even tho i dunno how many of u will actually read this.. i juz wanna tell all of u to cheer up! i really cant bear to see all of u so down… it really hurts me coz i dunno how to go abt helping all of u bring up ur spirits… i noe it takes time but i juz wanna let u all noe that i miss seeing all of u being crazy and happy… if there is anything i can do to help u all, tell me… i’ll be more than willing to help.. and if any of u need a listening ear or juz need someone for company, i give u my word that i will avail myself juz for u gals… becoz all of u juz mean too much to me… smile okies??

photos galore !! WHEE!! (:

half day at school today!! WHEE!! ((: went down to toa payoh sports hall after that to support the bball girls finals. met jenn there. the match was exciting i must say. but i’m really quite sad that they lost. nearly teared.

i really think that they deserve to be champs. sigh. and that stupid referee was juz so bias!! where has all that ‘SPORTSMANSHIP’ gone to?? grr….

headed down to suntec after that for bs. yay!! last lesson for VL!! gonna start on FT1 most likely in 2 or 3 weeks time!! WHEE!! (: but i’ve yet to take my GS and CL quiz…

went to the gym after i got home!! haha. i dun wanna be a ball of fats!! i’m determined to start exercising!! hee. (:

and i got my econs holiday tuition timetable ytd! I JUZ WANNA FAINT!! seriously… it’s SO many lessons!! i want some time to study on my own lehz… sigh. and i wanna study with GST too during the hols!! =(

ok.. anyway… as the title suggests… i’ve got loads of photos to upload!! haha. after learning how to upload photos frm my handphone into the com and from the com into my blog, i’m so excited!! haha. yay!! here are some photos!! (:

candid shot by audrey!! hee.

GST memories…. our very first movie outing!!

LU and ME!! after watching fantastic 4 last yr!! hee.

GST names on the bottle that we used to keep the heart-shaped poiful!! (:

those times studying in starbucks…

rong tying her hair. acting cute. studying.

our get-well-soon card for lu!! (:

audrey and lu!! (:

the pens that accompany me while i study…

the writings on my hand that were done by ame!!

ame!! HAHA.

audrey and lu!! it’s juz so fun studying tgt… (:

those times studying in school… (:

so yup!! these are some photos taken with GST during the studying periods last yr!! (: it’s time to start mugging once again…

i feel good! lalala. (:

WHEE!! i feel so good! feel so renewed in Christ! the power of renewing ur mind… haha. (: ‘i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’!! YAY!! ‘seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you’! (: putting God first in my life is sth that i have learnt over the past week. esp during phil pringle’s conference… i really learnt the imptance of prayer! and that i shld nv compromise my prayer time with anything else!

and i saw a vision ytd while i was praying! dunno is it common test 2, prelims of A levels…the results are sure good! but of course i hope that is the results are for common test and then subsequently, the results juz gets better until i hit my peak during my A’s!! WHEE!! i really love God so much!! i feel really edified during my prayer time ytd. short.. but quality time spent with God! i felt the peace of God.. and i really lifted all my burdens and worries unto Him! (:

i feel so motivated to study and glorify Him thru my results! and now.. i finally understand wat wei fen means when she say that she doesnt find studying a chore anymore.. and in fact… she takes pleasure in doing it coz she noes that she’s doing it for God! (: WHEE!! (:

God is good all the time.. all the time God is good! 😀

and wat can i say abt today! quite an eventful day! haha. firstly.. i went to school and had a nice tok with aunty jac!! i miss her so very much!! miss talking to her! and right before assembly, mr tan caught me for my drawstring, no vj badge and no belt for my skirt! and faints!! he noes that i’m in CHC!! sheesh. he didnt scold me la. ok.. that’s nice of him. hee.

after school, i went to support bball guys with clar, ash, daryl and some yr 1 house comm members!! WHEE!! (: i juz love cheering with the house comm pple around! we simply rock rock rock rock rock!!! (: i love them all to bits and pieces and molecules and atoms!! tho i juz knew the yr 1s, i juz felt this sense of bond when we were cheering tgt!! even the bballers commented that we cheer much better than the SC red shirts! and i secretly think so too!! HAHA. well.. at least there’s some humanity in the student population who recognises our efforts. not like he-who-must-not-be-named… who thinks that we are incompetent. boo. >.<

and i definitely had a lovely talk with clar while we were going for bball match and on our way home too!! seriously… i think it’s only after the handover did we realise how much house comm means to us! haha. suddenly we’re like trying to meet up and do things tgt! like SDD!! YAY!! (: i guess it’s really true that only when we start parting, we start to cherish each other more. when we were havent stepped down, i juz felt we took each other’s presence for granted! haha. but oh wells… i’m juz glad that we are all making that effort to stay in contact!! CHEERS TO HOUSE COMM! (:

in every relationship, it really takes 2 hands to clap. if one party is trying too hard, and does not seem to see any progress in the relationship at all, sooner or later, he wont see that pt in sowing into this relationship at all. so pple!! dun take wateva relationships u have with pple for granted!! always make that effort to keep that relationship there! at least that’s wat i believe in! i believe in putting in my effort in making a relationship grow! and yes.. i noe i’ll get tired of giving sometimes.. but i’ll always remind myself that i have a Father in heaven who sees everything i’ve done! and in due season, i will reap as long as i do not lose heart! (:

so anyway… as i watched how the house comm cheered today… i realised how much i’m really gonna miss all their presence! like really really miss them!! =( i really still cant let go of house comm.. it really feels so weird not being able to wear that tag anymore… i can only pin it on my bag now. =(

i still rmb the first time i wanted to joined house comm, i have to admit that it was solely becoz i wanted to have some leadership position. but as time passed, this ‘power hungry’ self in me died down… i slowly got to noe the pple and esp after i came to noe who God is… that things turned around, house com became my passion. it become one where i built strong and genuine frenships! pple whom i can really click with! it wasnt all abt the position or title. it was abt passion and relationships with pple.

thank you house comm for everything!! i love u guys to the max!! (:

and as i sat in the bus… i started thinking abt house comm. all the times we spent tgt were juz WOW!! (: and as i saw how bonded the juniors were as they cheered today.. and all the fun they had after the match, it was definitely heartwarming… as seniors, i honestly feel that we have done a good job in bonding the juniors… we created opportunities for them to bond… to get tgt… and above all things, we created a strong and sturdy foundation for them to build their relationships with others. isnt it great?? (: and if any of u beg to differ, at least i can safely say that as seniors, we have definitely done a much better job than our seniors… who left us lost and hanging there when they handed over the duties to us. so yup.

juz wanna say… ROCK ON HOUSE COMM!! (:

HOUSE COMM ‘o6/’o7!! i noe all of u will be able to bring house comm to greater heights!! i see the potential in each and everyone of u!! it juz hasnt exploded and being used to its max yet!! so jia you my dear yr 1s!! let that burning passion in u explode into flames!! when the odds are agst u… juz noe that all of u are one house comm… stay bonded tgt and dun let anything spoil this unity u all have! i love all of u!! (:

house comm handover

looks like i’ve officially stepped down from house comm alr. no more meetings with the fun bunch of pple… no more of working much tgt… no more outings… no more stayovers… but then again.. there might still be stayovers in school! like maybe study camps?? hee. wateva it is… i’m really gonna miss this really special bunch of pple!!

house comm ‘o5/’o6!! let’s meet up in the den every morning before assembly starts okies?? (:

i muz say… house comm has definitely brought me lots of memories abt my vj life!! and i certainly do treasure those times we spent tgt!!

handover today didnt go as well as we wanted it to be. all becoz someone by the name of S*** juz had to ruin everything. he scolded us juz becoz our handover ‘investiture’ ended late. has he ever considered how impt it is for a yr 2 when it comes to stepping down?? which yr 2 doesnt want it to run on smoothly? which yr 2 wont want it to be a memorable one? but all he-who-must-not-be-named gave us was only a miserable 15-20 mins. we wanted a proper investiture… one that is like the cts and SCs… but he-who-must-not-be-named rejected us with a flat ‘NO’.

ok… i admit that some parts of today’s handover was over fault. but i totally agree with wat yawen said… if he really cares for the welfare of house comm.. and if he really wants house comm to be more known and more sig in the school, he will do sth abt it and allow us to have a proper investiture. but no.. all he did was he scolded us, shouted at us for wateva that happened today. are we really that insignificant?? i really do not like that way that he’s treating us.

house comm ‘o6/’o7!! do sth abt it!! fight for our rights!! and the credit that we deserve!!

but putting aside all the unhappiness this morning, i muz say that the aftermath of the handover was juz great! we had so much fun taking photos! and i really love house comm alot!! after that, we juz sat around.. enjoying each other’s company… talking and singing… and listening to lame jokes. morning’s incident juz didnt dampen our moods! YAY!!

when the odds are against us, all the more we will show that we will emerge victorious!! and today has juz proven how positive we are!! u guys are simply the best!! 😀

after some time, the guys started becoming a little cranky. first, kaixiang got dunked into the pond… and subsequently, alan got dunked in coz his bdae is approaching. and not long, all the guys started going crazy… dunking any other house comm guy they spot! yr 1s ALMOST got dunked in too!! haha. it was a crazy but definitely fun moment! i guess the fish in the pond muz be too shocked by the sudden increase in the number of earthquakes in the water! haha.

and poor jenny hurt his feet while being dunked in!! i hope that his feet is alright!

after that, we headed down to support rong and min loong’s bball match!! semi finals!! exciting i muz say! esp the guys! and it was juz fun cheering tgt with the other house comm members! we really showed wat house comm is all abt! honestly.. i think we’re so much better than the new batch of red shirts. hee.

so yup! that’s abt it!! i juz wanna tell my fellow house commers to cont staying in contact and meeting up k!! vj is juz so different w/o them!! thankx for everything guys!! (: and here are juz some photos i have…

my dearest house comm members!! plse send me wateva photos u all have k!! (:


yawen and me! (:

me, owner, rong! dun u think they look pretty?? I LOVE THIS PIC!! 😀

joyce brown and me! (:

yuewoon and i going crazy! =P

jenny and me! (:

joyce and me again! (:

clar and me! (:

my 2 dearest joyces! let’s play spot the difference! who’s darker?? hee.

joyce looking retarded! i look WEIRD too. haha.

aunty jac and me!! someone who shares the same aunty legacy as me! =P

rox, me, jenny, ash and xiao de!! 🙂

emily and me! 🙂

open house. ash, me, rong. dun u think they look COOL?? (:

xiao de, me, darren! (:

rong and me! after our very first GST outing… (:

ck and me!! guess his age!! =P

xiao de and me! 🙂

ash and me! (:

me, emily and joyce! (:

the 3 of us again! i love this pic! 😀

oops! can u spot me?? HAHA.

house comm ‘o5/’o6… vivimus vivamus… live for the moment… (: