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the love of my Father (:

recently, there have been a few pple in my life who asked me why am i such a devoted christian? why do i go to the extent of attending bible school? do i want to be a pastor? a preacher? etc etc…

 

well, these questions got me thinking. i started thinking if i’m attending bible school becoz it seems like it’s the norm to do so (at least it seems so becoz the pple around me are attending bible school)… am i going to church for the sake of going? am i going to church out of a routine?

 

many questions came to my head.. but all these questions serve only to proof one thing – that i have a relationship with God! (:

 

i’m a devoted Christian becoz i know that God loves me and becoz i love God.

i’m a devoted Christian becoz in God, i find my identity.

i’m a devoted Christian becoz of my relationship with God.

i’m a devoted Christian becoz Jesus forgave me of all my sins.

i’m a devoted Christian becoz of the many encounters that i had with God. all these encounters can nv be replaced with anything else in my life. i guess it’s really becoz of these encounters that i noe and i noe that God is true, God is faithful, God is My Abba Father. (:

 

i’m attending bible school becoz i noe that God has called me.

i’m attending bible school becoz i want to noe so much more abt God.

i’m attending bible school becoz i’m hungry for more of Him.

 

 

i can give my frens a whole list of reasons why i’m such a devoted Christians but that does not beat experiencing God for yourself! i hope that my life itself is the message… that i’m living out the very message that Jesus left when He died for us on the cross! (:

 

yes, i made many sacrifices going to bible school… attending church, cell group, prayer meetings, outreaches etc… and many asked me if it’s worth it. my answer is YES, it’s all worth it. becoz the ultimate sacrifice is not the sacrifices that i’ve made but it is Jesus sacrificing His life for me… for u… for all mankind. (:

 

so yes, i love God but i noe that my love for Him cannot be compared to His unconditional love for me (:

hearing from above

God has been speaking to me quite a bit for the past few days! haha. i’m so happy!! and for now, i’m trying to collect all my tots and recall every single thing that He told me so that i wont miss out anything! haha.

in point forms..

• connect group prayer chain for the whole week
• community svc outreaches
• hall saturation
• delivered from the spirit of fear
• the element of faith is TRUST
• find Him in the secret place
• it’s the season of much more prayer and fasting

today when pauline prayed for the connect group leaders during cell group meeting, i saw an image of a glass broken with oil flowing. immediately, i knew that the oil was the anointing of God. i knew wat God was trying to tell me. if i desire more of God’s anointing to be upon me, i have to go to another level of brokeness… and hence, the fasting for this whole week. fasting will help me break the yoke of bondages and fasting will help me to lean more on God’s strength.

and i realise sth.. God speaks to me quite a lot in the form of deep impressions of images and sometimes words. but yet, God will always give me the interpretation for the images that i see in my spirit. i wonder, one of the gifts of the holy spirit is the interpretation of tongues.. no interpretation of images. haha. so im wondering where this gift falls under? maybe words of knowledge huh? haha.

anyway, the voice of God is getting clearer and clearer to me. there was one point that pauline said during cg today.. she said that the voice of God shld be a voice that is familiar to u.. not a voice that seems foreign and u dun recognise. so i started pondering if i could recognise the voice of God. and i’m happy to say that i do!!! haha. i can tell the difference between God’s voice and my inner voice.

wateva it is, when God speaks, i just noe it and that’s AWESOME! haha.

God speaks to me in 2 ways – deep impressions of images/words and a voice that only i can hear in my spirit when i plug in to Him (:

does anyone out there understand?

does anyone out there feel the pain?

does anyone out there noe the frustration?

does anyone out there see the hurt?

there are a thousand and one things running thru my mind
a thousand and one things on my heart
a thousand and one things that i wanna say
but why…
i just feel i cant say it out.

God, plse tell me wat went wrong
God, plse tell me why i’m feeling this way
God, plse tell me wat’s happening
God, plse tell me where the problem lies
God, plse give me Your answer to everything that i’m going thru now…
God, plse help me

i think God just spoke to me…

each time sth like this happens. each time i feel like hardening my heart, i will give sth. i will give a small gift to let u noe that i still love u no matter wat. becoz giving breaks the yoke of unforgiveness… becoz giving breaks the yoke of hatred and hardness of heart.. and becoz giving breaks all these yokes, true love will flow out when i give.

i will give unconditionally. i will give and give and keep giving be it in good times and bad times.

and when giving becomes a part of my lifestyle… when i’m able to give sacrificially… when i’m able to give and look beyond all that has happened and look beyond all the imperfections… that is when i’ve truly grown.. that is when i’ve truly learnt how to love those who are hard to love.

God sent down His only Son, Jesus, to die for us on the cross. God sent down Jesus to die for me… His purpose was to save me… God could have just chosen to hate me for being such a sinful person. but no, He didnt do that. instead, HE GAVE. He gave His only Son. He gave becoz He has forgiven me. He gave becoz He loves me.

each time sth like this happens again, i will give becoz i love u.

now, the peace of God surrounds my heart, mind and soul once again.

thank You Jesus.