busyness can kill!!!

busy busy busy!
pam is a busy bee!!!
stressed stressed stressed!!!

the school workload is finally starting to kick in! and this time round, i do not want to be drowning and swimming in all my notes!! so i’ve started studying alr!! but despite of the small head start, i’m still lagging and i still feel i’m not studying enough!

after last sem’s horrible results, it really was indeed a wake up call for me! it slapped me hard in the face that my results spoke to me and said, “HELLO MISS PAMELA FOONG!!! IT’S TIME TO START STUDYING AND STOP PLAYING SO MUCH!!!!” yea, i cried. so i shall not let the crying go to waste! I MUST STUDY HARD!!! i’m gonna be a CHAO JI MUGGER!! ya.. like real. but i must really study doublely, triplely hard this sem to really pull up my cap score.. sigh.

like wat my tutor said, if u choose to do the hard things in life, ur life would get easier. but if u choose the easy things, ur life would get harder. and yes, i totally agree! ask me and i’ll recount to u my experience firsthand! BOOOOOOOOOOOO.

so back to my entry, yes, i’m super duper ultra busy. and i HATE it. i mean.. it’s alright to be busy… but when it gets too much, to the extent that i feel stressed and i dun have my personal space, it gets over my nerves!

my timetable this semester is DISGUSTING!!! LIKE TOTALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! start late, end late. most of it is allocated. so yea, probably the admin pple who did this timetable allocation saw my picture and tot i look like a pig so perhaps they tot i would require more sleep than the usual student population and hence, allocated me the late timings. rah!

and my timetable this sem is SO TROUBLESOME i had to call up the BBA office a trillion times!!! got to do manual registration, go to dean’s office etc etc and wat happened in the end? i still did not get the timings i wanted!! RAH RAH!!

so anyhow, i have a whole load of things to do and i do not noe wat on earth am i doing blogging at this unearthly hour! but i guess blogging is the only way to vent my frustrations.

these are my babies:
-cg, church, spiritual stuff etc etc
-school work (not exactly my baby), projects, lousy timetable
-spend time with family and frens
and…
-tuition

all these alone more or less settles my week! the only free timings that i have are my nights!!! but tues night and friday nights are gone! so that leaves me with mon, wed and thurs! but with so many pple crying out for my attention, HOW I WISH I CAN TELEPORT OR SPLIT MYSELF INTO HALF. when i say many pple crying out for my attention, that includes many groups of frens and i’m not trying to imply anything.. just happens that i noe quite a number of pple.

sometimes i wish i can vanish from this earth! nothing to worry abt, nothing to be sad abt, stressed abt etc etc.

i need God even more so during this period of time… God, plse help me!

ok, back to preparing my sermon…

there’s so much i wanna say… so much running thru my head… but all i can find.. is just one word.. sad.

i try not to think of wat’s happening… but yet.. the harder the try, the more i find myself thinking abt it. and i do not want to do that.. coz the more i think abt it.. the more i feel downcast..

i held on strong to my feelings when i talked abt it… but eventually, when joce called me, tears ran down my cheeks..

as much as i try……………………………………………

the road is long and never easy, but i noe that my God is the strength of my heart..

so much i wanna say, so much i wanna do.. but to my dear friend, all i want is to be there for u…

God, plse help me… i noe and i noe that i cant do this alone…

interesting module!

school started on tuesday and wat a dread it was! i was totally dreading school after receiving my tremendously horrendous results for last sem! i was fearful of school coz i didnt noe wat to expect, didnt noe how am i ever going to pull up my CAP score, how i’m gonna survive in school with such heavy modules to take this sem!

and gosh! i must really thank God for His grace! school was surprisingly rather tolerable for the past 3 days!

so tuesday (the first day of school) came and i dragged myself to school for my first organisational behaviour lesson… this lesson is done in sectional teaching style.. which means, it’s once a week, 3 hours straight (!!) and done in a seminar room! it’s not lecture style where u have a big group of students! it’s just a SMALL group!

so i went to school thinking of all the worst possible scenarios that can ever take place! coz firstly, i’m taking this module alone and hence, i just imagined myself to be a loner… sitting in class quietly and blending in with the wallpaper. secondly, this module requires lots of class participation and hence, i imagined myself to be just sitting there and not saying anything coz i never really like class participation! (EEKS!) while the rest of my classmates are frantically having cross-fires with each other! thirdly, i imagined a really old, lao kok kok teacher who would make lesson so boring that my 3 hours would seem like 3 days! 3 hours of lesson alone!! i really cant imagine! and fourthly, coz this module is a level 3000 module, it’s meant for year 3s.. but i, being a year2, decided to be ambitious and hence, i tot that i would be the ONLY year 2 in class! wat a beginning to start of my first day at school! but of course, all these are just my tots! God has other plans! (:

the lesson turned out to be just the opposite to everything that i tot off! at the end of the 3 hour lesson, i totally enjoyed myself! it confirms even more so my desire to specialise in management! i think management is the only fun part of biz! bleah.

i went to class almost right on time and gosh! i saw so many pple inside alr! i was rather overwhelmed and afraid when i saw the number of pple! i rather have lesser pple than more! so well.. i hurriedly grabbed a seat next to this angmoh gal and sat next to her. i dunno who she is but well, she started talking to me asking me if this class was MNO3301! and well, that was a good start! i’ve always been the one initiating conversations and FINALLY!!! someone initiated a conversation with me! haha. she’s such a lovely gal! a year 3 exchange student from sweden!!! she’s gonna be my best fren during this class man! haha.

and guess wat! this is my first class having SO MANY exchange students in my class! there are like 7 angmohs (2 spain, 3 or 4 from sweden, 1 from belgium..) and 1 from korea!! woo hooo!! first time have so many angmohs leh! that got me a bit excited but a bit afraid too! coz their english no matter wat is still better than mine! so from that tues onwards, i’ll not be attending OB lessons alone! i found a fren! 😀

then we had a round introduction and i realised i wasnt the only year 2 student!! there were abt 5-7 other year 2 students around! so that totally put my heart at ease!

but… the expectations of my tutor can really kill me! just listening to her expectations alone petrifies and kills all the cells in me! she just went on and on and on abt all her expectations! and gosh! my stomach started churning and my heartbeat increased! -faints- i could have fainted on the spot i tell u!

but putting the expectations aside, after all the intro my tutor did, i realised she’s a rather fun tutor afterall! and if my discernment was right, i would say that she’s a christian too!

she’s not lao kok kok! thank God! and my 3 hours didnt feel like 3 days! the time FLEW pass!

i love her lessons! i like it especially when she tells us stories that her professor used to tell her! haha. she’s cranky and funny too! just the kind of tutor to engage students of the younger generation! btw, she wore this cute red snoopy tie for lesson! haha. rather cute la..

so 3 things that i learnt from her that lesson! (i’m just cutting short all the explanations!)

1. labour of love!
if u enjoy wat ur doing, it would not become a chore or work! but instead, it would become ur labour of love! something that u would pour out ur love, ur time, ur effort ur energy into it!

likewise, in the spiritual aspect, if u love ur cg, serving ur cg would NEVER become a chore or a burden, but it becomes ur labour of love! something which u would enjoy doing! and to me, it applies the same for ministry as well! (:

2. her prof would always give things that need to be done to the busiest person!
i think this is quite true! becoz the busiest person would always get things done! it means that u have the capacity to handle it! (: but i dun think it’s a very good thing tho.. if all work is given to the busiest person, the busiest person will just get busier and the slackest person will just cont slacking and rot! haha. that’s when discipleship comes in! MUAHAHAHHAHA.

3. if u choose to do the easy things in life first, u would find that ur life gets more difficult. but if u choose to do the difficult things, life gets easier and easier!
in the natural, it make sense isnt it? and in the spiritual realm, it totally does too! esp in the area of soul winning, ministry, cg.. etc etc! every area actually! haha.

if u choose to go thru the difficult things, like ploughing thru ur mbrs life.. pressing into them… buildling up a r/s that is not easy to do so… then as u keep doing the difficult things, it gets easier and easier! the ploughing gets easier and easier and u’ll start to see the fruits of ur labour! life gets easier! ur frens get saved! cell group starts to grow! connect groups become more united! etc etc!!!!

so at the end of the day, the lessons i took home were all not related to the lesson! haha. but the lessons i took home came from the stories, experiences that she shared with us! i got so excited, i just had to share it with my COCs! haha.

so after the lesson, it felt like as tho i took home one HUGE spiritual lesson/revelation (:

oh! and i’m very happy i managed to find my project group mates so easily! before i went for the lesson, i tot i would be left alone without any group to join! haha. so thank God for that too!! (=

it’s really time to sit down and set my goals for the year! i have it in my head! but i must write it down and confess it that in the name of Jesus, all would come to pass! 😀

ps. i realised that many pple still visit my blog even when i have not blogged for a long time! haha. so here’s a post to sustain everyone until i have the time and mood to blog again! MUAHAHAHHA.