You are currently browsing the monthly archive for December 2007.
i had the privilege of being my cell group’s PRINCESS today!! haha. PRINCESS PAMELA!! hehe. =P but of course, since i’m so cor lor, guan and youyi started making fun of me! say i not princess enough! haha. bleah. =P
anyway, i tot it was really funny and fun at the same time playing the princess! haha. and during fellowship, pauline suggested that we have a theme for our thanksgiving cg tmr. so we started throwing in ideas and one of guan’s brilliant ideas was to wear goggles! FAINTS!
so guan said during praise and worship we can all do breaststroke. but i said for praise we shld do freestyle, then worship we do breaststroke. then jasmine said “since i dunno how to swim, i’ll just do the drowning action during praise and worship tmr.” HAHA. super funny! maybe just saying it like this u wouldnt find it funny, but at that moment, the words coupled with the actions made the whole thing SUPER funny! haha.
i found a person in cell group to go SIAO with me! that’s none other than jasmine! haha. she’s another siao zha bo too! hehe. =P
svc today was AWESOME! pst tan shared abt how changes leads to growth. well, pst tan never fails to give me revelations whenever he preaches. i love his preaching! i love pst kong’s preaching as well! (:
lazy to go into the details now… but during worship, i was telling God how i feel like as tho the year is going to end off on a bad note and how much i really hope to be a good finisher of this year. like wat pst told us, it’s not so much on how u started off the yr, but how u end of this year. then God spoke and said, “if u dun keep focusing on the negative, but focus on the positive, everything will end off well. if u would just lift everything up to me… if u would not be tied down and held back by the past failures and setbacks that u faced this yr, the yr will end of well. ” there and then, i tot to myself, “yes, i think i’ve been dwelling too much in the negative. it’s really time to move on..”
then during ministry time after being convicted by the word, i told God: “God, it really really hurts. i really find it so hard to let go… do You noe how badly i’ve been scarred and hurt by the words of __?”
then God said: “yes, I noe… I really do noe ur hurt… but the pain that I experienced on the cross hurts much more than the pain that ur experiencing…”
a picture of the cross with Jesus being crucified came into my mind. for once, i felt that pain and agony that Jesus must have gone thru at the cross. that price He paid for my life… oh God, it must have hurt so so so much with nails being nailed thru both hands and feet.
at that very moment, it came as a revelation to me. yes, i may be hurting. yes, i may find it hard to let go. but, Jesus, He experienced much more pain than i did. the pain i went thru is nth compared to His. and at that instant, i felt forgiveness flooding my heart and soul. at that instant, i knew that i forgave becoz Jesus endured the cross for me…
each time i feel hurt or pain, i must rmb to look back to the cross… each time i go thru situations in my life, i must rmb to look back to the cross… i must rmb to think wat would Jesus do…
thank You for the cross Lord…
tim told me sth ytd when i was doing my visitation which i forgot to blog abt. but thank God, He reminded me of wat tim told me this morning.
it was yet another revelation.
tim said: “if the devil can find certain weaknesses or areas in ur life that he can attack, he will cont attacking u in this area. so dun be too affected by wat happened.”
then it struck me: “yes! that’s right! i cannot be too affected! if i am, the devil would noe that he had won. i must seal this area of my life TIGHT. so that the devil will not have any chance of attacking me in this area ever again!”
there and then, i found that strength and courage once again to make restoration and reconciliation. thank You Jesus. (:
and ytd, i was watching my taiwanese drama again. the main actor’s grandma in the show said this (in chinese of course) “you are always like this… always giving in to ur younger brother… always giving in to the pple around u… and now, it has become ur habit. u have made so many sacrifices and always thinking abt others…”
then, the main actor said this: “if giving in to others and having to sacrifice would make others happy, i would do it…”
yea, to be on the giving end so often isnt easy. but thank God that even thru such a taiwanese drama, God ministered to me.
pick myself up and move on. dun wanna be stuck in the rut any longer. (:
today, i wrote my first letter to God. (=
it came to me as a revelation that each and every one of us are all self-centered. i am self-centered and i wont deny it.
it’s just a matter of how much that person shows it and to wat degree of self-centeredness does that person possess.
so looks like if i ever wanna say that someone is self-centered, i have to first check on myself.
it’s only abt half an hour more before xmas is over. tho i was in a very “Christmasy” and festive mood this xmas season, it wasnt the best xmas for me. i feel that it lacked sth… sth called LOVE.
i really really need a new revelation from God abt love and forgiveness.
and this xmas was filled with disappointments. it really didnt feel much like xmas.
honestly, i felt unappreciated from some of the pple whom i hold dear to in my heart. yes, i may be willing to serve… willing to do this… willing to do that… but hey, i’m still human after all. i’m not some superwoman or wonderwoman. at the end of the day, there are times when i still encouragement and appreciation to give me the drive and motivation to carry on wat i’m doing.
and yes, i do feel like i’ve been taken for granted. maybe becoz i noe wat it feels like to be taken for granted, i constantly make that effort to recognise and appreciate pple for the efforts that they have made becoz i noe that it stinks to feel unappreciated.
but God is good all the time and all the time, God is good! i thank God for queenie, esther, rhonda and wendy! these 4 gals suddenly appeared into my life, left their footprints on my heart and have become friends who are impt to me. thank You Jesus.
and queuing for svc with esther, queenie, yuan rong, yuling, siming, lionel and yiling is fun! i found new queuing kakis too! thank You Jesus!
i’m really really tired to type anymore.. so i’ll just let the pictures do the talking…
22nd dec (1st xmas drama – 5pm)
kuku esther and me while queuing at 130pm!
this was how long the queue was at 145pm! that’s 3 over hours before svc starts!! FREAKY!
finally in the hall, i managed to get really good seats. my queuing skills have UP another level! =P
guan, angela (guan’s fren) and pauline!
pauline, zoe and her frens – huili and shu zhen!
candlelight svc!!
wat a pretty and marvellous sight!
my candle on the first svc!
group pic after svc!! look at me! i’m standing on the chair!! hehe.
zoe, huili, shu zhen and me!
we headed down to popeyes at the airport after svc for dinner!! we were all famished!!
i was VERY intimidated by the mountain of fries that we had to conquer! thank God for guys who helped us finish!
terrence, shu zhen and zoe!
youyi and guan looking like VERY HUNGRY WOLVES!!! =PpP
lydia and joy with their prata!!
after eating, we went to terminal 3 to take a look and walk around. it was a great time of fellowship!
zoe and shuzhen!
a very artistic shot that i took!! i really like this photo alot!! sadly, i was the photographer, so my face is not in it! )=
guan and me!
me and lydia with her moomoo hat that shuo han bought for her from korea!! the hat is really cute! i love it!
at around 10 plus, my cg members decided to go home while i made my way to BK at terminal 1 to meet wendy to go home tgt! it was rather weird coz wayne and rhonda’s cg were having combined fellowship. so when i reached, wayne saw me and exclaimed loudly asking me where my cg members were and why am i at bk! anyhows, cam whoring started!
esther, wendy and me! with 2 extra faces behind… derrek and yulin (TSK TSK)
siao zha bo esther!
pple just love popping their faces into our photos! i wonder who’s face is that on the background huh huh huh…. TSK TSK.
a very very cute boy! forgot his name tho… hehe.
i love this pic too! super cute! yuan rong (aka bao bao), pow wee, me and esther!
guess who’s finger was that!! conveniently blocked out my whole face!! TSK TSK!!!!
peng (NTU xiao chao nominee!!), me, esther and extra emmanuel at the back! TSK TSK!!
23rd dec (2nd xmas svc – 10am)
mambo king cong yan and me!
me, adeline, dawn, vivien and pauline!! 😀
adeline, dawn and vivien during the candlelight part of the whole svc!
another pretty sight!
after the svc, adeline and i went to fellowship with james and pauline over lunch. after which, adeline followed me back to my home coz i had to change my contacts as it was giving my eye problems. went to change to a less formal set of clothes too and off we were to meet shayna at the starbucks at PS!
happy 3 frens whom i love!!
pretty shayna!
i went off to meet queenie in the evening at AMK hub. we just talked and chilled. wanted to catch a movie.. but we decided not to in the end. went down to macs at serangoon central after that to meet wendy! 😀
24th dec (3rd xmas svc – 745pm)
before svc that day, we had a cell group gift exchange and pot blessing!! it was a good time of fellowship and i had lots of fun!
busy preparing the food that we bought!!
the salad gang!!
an amazing woman of God – pauline! (my dearest cgl!!)
youyi and me!! youyi was my gift exchange partner!!
still preparing the salad…
this created a big commotion!! guess wat pauline was showing to us!!! SECRET!!! =X e310’s bu neng shuo de mi mi!! hehe.
youyi and lydia!
jas and zoe!
GREEDY guanxian!
a widespread of food! we had kfc too!
pretty lydia and me!
youyi wants to fight ah!!
revealing our gift exchange partners! we were suppose to describe 5 opposite characteristics of our gift exchange partners! wanna noe wat youyi said abt me? haha! that’s for me to noe and for u to find out!
pretty sandy (the gal that pow wee rmbs! tsk tsk! =PPP) !!
went down for svc after our xmas party!
yiling and me!! yiling is really funny!! she burnt her hair during the candlelight svc!! haha. =P
yuan rong (baobao) and me!
pow wee and me!
audrey and rosalind (audrey’s sister)!!
rhonda was back from china!!!!! :DDDD
how can we not take a group picture after such a wonderful svc?!
i guess the bestest thing that ever happened during this svc was the salvation of audrey and rosalind! both sisters accepting God into their lives on the same day!! PRAISE THE LORD!! must work on retention now! (:
walked the bazaar with shirley, sandy, zoe and pauline after audrey and rosalind left! along the way, i met quite a few pple and took photos!!
one of my dearest – hui jia! thanks for the listening ear! (:
esther again!
my favourite serangoon kaki – wendy!!! 😀
rhonda tan ah siao!! i love you!! 😀
esther, me, rhonda and wendy!! (missing queenie my dancing queen!)
25th dec (4th & 5th xmas svc – 930am & 12pm) CHRISTMAS DAY!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!!
janice joined me at the drama today!!
me and janice! i like this photo! nice eh… haha.
jas and adrian!
me and janice during lunch fellowship! and yes, the 2nd bestest thing that happened after audrey and rosalind’s salvation was janice receiving Christ into her life as well! (:
another group photo!! 😀
after lunch, pauline, jas and i headed back into expo hall 8 tgt with briony for the last and final xmas svc this year! tho there isnt any frens for this svc, we still went for it to support the atmosphere becoz it was our anchoring svc.
and in all the mess at expo hall 8 due to the massive crowd, we still managed to get centre portion seats at the front section.
peng was sitting next to me during the svc!!
guess who was sitting next to peng on his other side?! darren from vj house com!! the world is just so small! haha. darren and his fren benjamin both also accepted God into their lives during the svc today! happy for them!! (:
after the svc, queenie came in and surprised me with a really cute balloon that cause esther to whine and complain that she wanted queenie to buy one for her as well! haha. =P
my favourite balloon!! 😀
yiling loves me and i love her too! hehe. 😀 she’s my st nicks junior u noe!! =P
esther finally got her balloon! she requested for such an odd and kuku colour combination! haha! hmmm.. that face in the centre is wayne btw.. haha.
esther wants to kiss me! hehe. =P
after loitering at the bazaar, queenie and i joined rhonda’s cg for fellowship at popeye! it was really fun and funny and crazy all at the same time! esther and i were going crazy over our balloons! we kept playing with it and disturbing the others with the balloons as well! haha. we kept saying the balloon was our sword… a metal detector… so on and so forth. it was totally crazy and hilarious!! we made queenie regret buying the balloon for us! hehe. =P
after fellowship at the airport, we went down to ching feng’s house. played some uno… but felt a bit weird there. dun wanna talk abt it. anyway, was suppose to go to wendy’s house tgt with queenie after that… but i felt tat i needed to go home. was very tired as well. but i guess going home wasnt a very good decision.
OH WELLS.
thanks to all those who bought me small gifts.. i appreciate it. thank u! (:
Jesus, show me the true meaning of xmas…
Christmas the season of giving..
tho i very much do not feel like giving u anything, but ur gift, i’ve alr bought.
tho i very much do not feel like labelling u as the best on ur gift, but i will still do that.
God gave us His only Son to die on the cross for us tho we very much did not deserve it. and i guess only when i understand the true meaning of giving, will i be able to give u with a big wide smile on my face without bearing any grudge agst u.
if calling me a hypocrite or a liar would make u feel better, then i have nothing to say. all i can say is that ur words are powerful. life and death lies in the power of ur tongue.
maybe u do not noe… but each time wateva u say, pierces right thru my heart. it hurts and i have no where and no one to turn to except to God. i cry out to God time and again but yet, i still need some human comfort. then again, if i do confide in my frens, ur image of me being a hypocrite will only become worse. wat am i suppose to do? tell me…
maybe u cant see the tears that i have shed becoz of ur words. maybe u cant see my heart that is bleeding becoz of ur words. u dun see it… only God does.
i try my very best to live up to ur expectations of being someone close to u. but time and again, i think i’ve failed. not just failed, but failed badly.
but plse plse plse understand, i am only human. i am not God. i am nothing but just an imperfect person living by the grace of my Father.
i dun see u as perfect so i try my very best to overlook ur flaws. so my only request is plse… forgive me of my flaws. overlook my impecfections.
i am only human. NOT God…
Jesus, show me the true meaning of giving…
and plse understand that i’m not angry. i’m upset and hurt. i’m feeling very fan zhao… very WU NAI… and very helpless… i dunno anything.. and i dunno wat to do.
it feels like it’s been AGES since i last blogged!!!
CAMP BREAKAWAY WAS AWESOME!!! how i wished the camp was much much longer! and i am definitely looking forward to the next camp breakaway!! being the assistant house ic has definitely taught me much.
feeling lazy to blog abt it now. but i’ll blog abt it soon!! maybe tmr!! and hopefully with some pictures too!!
but the focus of today’s blog entry is how God used someone to give me a timely word of encouragement. and that someone is shane.
i thank God for that timely msg shane sent me. and like wat i told him, i’ve been holding on to this dream for a rather long time. i know for sure that this dream is from God. but yet at times, i feel that this dream is taking a longer time than expected to come to past.
sometimes, i really feel like throwing in the towel and giving up. sometimes, i feel that i aint good enough. sometimes, i feel so limited. sometimes, i feel so inferior. sometimes, i dare not even dream this dream. sometimes, i feel that the burden is just too heavy. sometimes, i wonder if God really did hear my prayers.
but even with all these negative thots running thru my mind, i’m still clinging on to this dream so tightly. i dunno why.. but maybe becoz when a dream is from God, u tend to hold on to it even more tightly. and no matter how circumstances may seem to come ur way, with that little flicker of hope and light, u’ll still hold on to a dream from God.
and yes, that’s what i’m doing right now.
thank You Jesus for that timely word!
it was a word in season and definitely a word of encouragement!
i love You Jesus deep down in my heart!! 😀
no spamming on my blog. thanks.
if not, i’m going to change my blog address and make this blog private.
anyway, i dun think i said anything wrong. so i dun see why u shld get so angry and upset. ur just being too sensitive.
if u have nth nice to say, keep it to urself.
my exams are FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -jumps- i’m SO SO SO HAPPY!! feel my joy and liberation! haha.
today was an AWESOME day! 😀
briony said sth which royston said which really brightened my day. haha. royston said: “sometimes, pple choose to see only the negative side of u becoz u have sth which they dun have.”
true eh? haha. so that got me thinking and i’ve decided not to be bothered by those pple around me who choose to view the negative side of me.
well, i’m sorry to u and u. but i’m NOT perfect. and neither are u. besides, it has been proven that for every person, 90% of the pple that he/she noes like him/her, while the remaining 10% of the pple do not like him/her. so face it, u cant plse everyone. and neither can i.
i’ll choose to focus on the 90%! (:
i went out with janice today! she’s a girl i got to noe thru a bio module that i took in school! hee. briony and royston joined us as well! 😀 we had a great time fellowshipping! briony, janice and i went to watch the golden compass while royston headed down for some design fair i think.
anyway, the golden compass isnt a nice movie at all. the plot is confusing… the climax is lousy… the ending was LAME. briony and i walked out of the cinema feeling like as tho we didnt watch a movie at all. so plse dun wat the golden compass. it’s YUCKY. haha.
but beyond the yucky movie, it was a great time of fellowship! got to understand janice more! (:
after the movie, janice left to meet her friend while briony and i headed down to powerhouse at riverwalk to pray with pauline!
I REALLY REALLY LOVE POWERHOUSE ALOT!! i really love to pray there and each time i leave, i always feel like praying much much much more!
God always comes in a special way and He always touches me deeply. today, i prayed prayers that i never prayed before. today, the Holy Spirit gave me new words when i prayed. it wasnt the same old boring words. but NEW WORDS! YAY!!! 😀
briony left us soon after coz she went for BBG. not long after, zoe joined us! pauline and i prayed for abt 1.5 hours! i broke my own record!! 😀
it really feels so good seeking the face of God right after my exams. it’s like… a nice feeling that i dunno how to describe… right after my exams, the first thing that i wanted to do was to go to powerhouse! ya… it’s just that kind of nice feeling when u put God first in everything u do. (:
after which, i rushed down to AMK to meet nicole for dinner! i was VERY LATE! so sorry dear! anyway, we had a great time of fellowship! feels like it has been a LONG LONG time since i last saw her! which is true! never see her for 2 weeks le! i’ll usually see her twice a week… once during visitation and another time in church on sat! haha.
so yea.. it was a great time catching up with her! (: we went to have dinner! or rather, i had my breakfast! first meal of the day! haha.. while nicole watched me eat. hehe.
we went shopping for my hair clips and then, we did my fav type of shopping!! wanna guess?!?!?! haha.
GROCERY SHOPPING!! YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! haha. =P
i’m going to the ZOO tmr!!! and i’m REALLY EXCITED abt it! so i went shopping for some really nice snacks to bring to the zoo tmr!!! feels like i’m back to my primary school days where we will pack one big pack of potato chips into our small bagpack, and make our bag seem like it’s so full when there’s only like potato chips and a water bottle inside! haha!
so yes! POMPOM IS GOING TO THE ZOO TMR!! sense my excitement!! WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
God, plse grant us good weather and let it be a good time of fellowship with my frens! thank You Jesus! AMEN! 😀
i really like meeting up with pple and just spending quality time with my frens… sowing seeds into their lives and making a difference… i dun mind rushing from place to place becoz at least i noe i’m doing sth i like to do.. and that’s why i’d say that today was an AWESOME DAY! 😀
on a sidenote..
it’s time u wake up and learn how to manage ur finances properly.
God… plse teach me how to deal with pple like this! i cannot take it anymore!
on a brighter note, dearest zoe bought me honey stars to cheer me on during my exam period!! ahhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m really very very touched!!!!! 😀
i feel so loved!! first was briony who brought doughnuts all the way to my house last week, then now is zoe who bought me honey stars!!! 😀
i love my cg members!! (=
thank You Jesus! (=
i just finished watching the movie ‘facing the giants’ online! and gosh! it’s really such a great movie! now i understand why pauline wanted the cg to watch this movie!
sadly, becoz of religious reasons, this movie was not allowed to be screened in Singapore.
but seriously, it’s an AWESOME MOVIE to watch! just watching this movie alone is so so so much better than all the taiwanese dramas that i’ve watched added up tgt! as i watched the movie, the presence of God just surrounded me and flooded my room! such an anointed movie!
i noe it’s kinda late alr.. and i really have to sleep so that later in the morning when i wake up, i’ll be all up and ready to face my giants – MARKETING AND BIO! (:
but i just have to pen (or rather, type) this down..
one thing which one of the actors said that really struck me was this: “in the Bible, God said, 365 times, ‘DO NOT FEAR’ “…
and this came to me as a revelation. 365 = 365 days a year… and God actually said 365 “DO NOT FEAR”s in the Bible! in other words, 1 DO NOT FEAR for EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE!
so why shld i live, or walk in fear when cicumstances come my way? why shld i live, or walk in fear with God by my side? why why why? why shld i fear? COZ THERE’S NOTHING FOR ME TO FEAR AT ALL!! AMEN!!
and the leading actor… he just had such GREAT FAITH that God would do a miracle for him! indeed, the miracleS (not just 1 miracle, but many many miracleS) just came… one after another…
if God said in the Bible that as long as u have faith as small as a mustard seed, it can move mountains. then definitely, the faith that the leading actor had wasnt all just the size of a small mustard seed, but he had faith that was HUGE!
if small faith can move mountains, then surely, HUGE FAITH can move ANYTHING!
indeed, God is good all the time! and all the time, God is good! (:
empyreal radiance 